This is a common misconception of introverts. We're thought of as the social outcasts. We're taught as kids that we're supposed to go make friends with the other kids playing in the sandbox. And if we don't, we're weird and our parents have to apologize to the other parents for our behavior.
We have to re-learn what introvert really means. Introverts can be perfectly social and most are. We have many friends, are quite well adjusted, and fit a broad range of societal definitions of normal. Its just that when everyone else is running out for the 5th consecutive night out at a bar, we'd prefer to take a night to ourselves on occasion.
Misconception #2: "Introverts are quiet and don't like to talk."
Wrong again. I like to talk. I have a lot to say! After spending an above average amount of time thinking and reading, I want to share what I've learned. I want to know what others think about what I'm now thinking.
But I don't like to talk in front of a group of people I don't know. I don't like to talk in environments that are loud. And I don't like to talk about silly things, or what some would call "small talk." I'd much rather talk about the important issues in my life and hear what issues you're working through. And if we hit upon a mutually interesting topic, I can talk with others for hours.
Misconception #3: "Given a choice, introverts would always prefer to be alone rather than in a group."
This too is not necessarily true. But, as an introvert, I just have to balance my socializing time with my quiet time. If I know I have a number of social events coming up, I need to plan in advance to get in my alone time to recharge. I also need to make sure I don't schedule social events after work too many days in a row. But as long as I'm honest with myself on how much group time I can take and plan accordingly, I have a great time interacting with others.
Misconception #4: "Introverts are not good leaders"
We see exceptionally charismatic leaders, such as President Clinton or Jack Welch (famous long time CEO of General Electric) and begin to believe that being an extrovert is a prerequisite to inspiring others and gaining a following.
Albert Einstein was an introvert, as are BIll Gates and Warren Buffett, just to name a few.
As we learn in management class, there are two types of leaders - those who inspire others through their personality (Oprah), and those who inspire others through their knowledge (Einstein). Introverts tend to do well with the latter and have made amazing contributions to the world. They've also built huge organizations that have lasted over time.
Misconception #5: "Introverts are only a small portion of the population"
According to the researchers, about half of the population identifies as introverted. Other studies suggest it's around a third of the population. Regardless, there are a lot of introverts of varying degrees out there!
I often think that introverts suffer from some of the same misfortunes of "invisible minorities," such as those with a religious affiliation. If we can't see what someone is by looking at them, we tend to underestimate how many people identify with that subgroup. This is especially true with those who are introverted, as we recharge alone. Others won't necessarily know we're introverts unless we tell them. And that's exactly what I've been trying to do recently. Its amazing how many people respond saying that they're an introvert as well. It's an instant bond!
In conclusion...
Introversion is just another aspect of the complexity that makes up the human race. It should neither be celebrated nor lamented. Rather, it should simply be understood. Those of us who are introverts need to learn how to live in a world that seems to be full of extroverts. This mainly includes striking the right balance between social time and alone time, so we can be truly "on" when we're socializing. And those who are extroverts have an opportunity to better understand where introverts are coming from. Almost half of the population identifies as introverted to some degree, so we're not abnormal outcasts!
For those who are interested, I found this Ted Talk by Susan Cain to be fascinating and I highly recommend it.
Susan Cain: The power of introverts | Video on TED.com
Also, read some Myths about Introverts
Myth #1- Introverts don't like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk.Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won't shut up for days.
Myth #2 - Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact.They don't interact for the sake of interacting.
Myth #3- Introverts don't like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand.
Myth #4- Introverts don't like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don't like to go in public FOR AS LONG.
Myth #5- Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problem to work on, puzzle to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don't have anyone to share their discoveries with.
Myth #6- Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualist. They don't follow the crowd. They prefer to valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm.
Myth #7- Introverts don't know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down.
Myth #8- Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, artists, poets, doctors, mathematicians, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts.(Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) It means Introverts cannot "fix themselves" and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race.
